March 2012
20 years in the future
Husband: Hey so my mother is coming into town, and I want to show her a good time. Maybe we should take her to the Olive Garden, do you know where that is?
Me: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
Husband: What?
Me: Oh my god, I don't know where that came from.
My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for...
Society: Every girl is beautiful.
Fat girls: Really?
Skinny girls: Really?
Curvy girls: Really?
Scene girls: Really?
Preppy girls: Really?
White girls: Really?
Black girls: Really?
Society: Wait let me be more specific
Society: You need to have boobs the size of Canada, an ass that will put Nicki Minaj to shame, perfect porcelain skin with nary a single blemish, straight white teeth that will blind somebody that looks at them without sunglasses, hair that is thick and flows like a waterfall made of rainbows and unicorn tears, eyelashes that will touch your forehead and look natural doing it, soft hairless skin, and a smolder that will fry a chicken in a basket. You also have to be a size 00 because guys love it when they can see your ribcage.
Girls:
Society:
Girls:
Society: Why is everybody getting depressed all of a sudden?
if you're a girl, reblog this. I need to tell you...
I've come to the conclusion that I think it's okay...
